Diary of a Middle Age Woman Writer

Explosions Are Imminent

Molecules by Atlas Genius released on their album Inanimate Objects released September 2015 on Warner Brothers Label.

 

Dear Diary,

Recently life was interrupted for some travel.  (San Antonio, by the way is a beautiful city, –I really didn’t want to leave.)  It was fantastic.  I got to visit some family and chillax.

On the way back, the travel stirred up the sickies.  (Don’t we all love airplane travel during the cold and flu season?)  Not enough sleep, too much to do, laundry . . . does this sound like a broken record to anyone besides me? Argh!

Back To The Future, Star Trek, oh puhleese! Give me them both combined. Let me travel with the ease of a transporter (forget the DeLorean too much trouble).  I want Scotty to beam me somewhere.  (I love the accent.)  Forward, backward, whatever I want at my whim.

Last couple of months were spent coming to a deeper understanding about all this writing.  No different from anyone else, a brief fantasy of being a successful money-making writer had a place in my dreams. That image quickly dissipated.

I accepted right off I was a bad writer.  Then, to my surprise, my writing wasn’t bad enough to incite rude and belittling comments.  Well, damn.  That means I am mediocre. Great. Just great.

Why couldn’t I be really bad and just not care. I could so do that. Mediocre? Oh, HELL! NO! That is totally unacceptable.

Opened my eyes to my mediocre-ness and discerned what I needed to do to  improve. It took a while to get up the nerve to actually do it, but I did it.  I have a love/hate relationship with formal study,

Which is why fall break and no work sounded so great.  Now that it has come and gone, it went by too fast.  I wasn’t ready to start back, yet. (Refer to that love/hate relationship thing.)

Why the hell am I a writer again?

J.

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