Drag by Day Wave a single released on iTunes May 4, 2015 – Jackson Phillips solo vehicle. Link provided by Day Wave. (Thank you! Such a gracious artist.)
Sick. I am so worn out, that I am now I am physically ill. Yuk.
The end result of pushing myself. I want to find my voice within my writing. So much emotional baggage held me for longer than I have been able to tolerate. I am dealing. I have been coping.
Truth, yes, I have tried to rush it. That is probably why it has held me back, like being in a holding pattern over O’Hare Airport. Once landed, your departing gate has moved two terminals over and you have less than twenty minutes to make the next flight. You make it and then the plane sits on the tarmac for another hour while the craft awaits mechanical care; something important like oil. Then you use the wrong parking receipt in the machine to get out of long-term parking. You pay for ninety-six days instead of four. Feel me yet?
It’s like that.
It been a series of negative events over the course of years. My Pollyanna rose glasses fogged and cracked. Thankfully, I have had some longtermers that held on despite my attitude and acting out. They have had faith in me when I lost mine. Pulling me out of hermit-hood. They who have read my little poems and short stories. They have held the carrot and baited me forward.
I am so very lucky.
Maybe being sick is a good thing. Time to rest, recoup and realize how much progress has actually been made, more than I thought. Life is good, again.
Love you, my peeps. Thank you.