Whoo. By the skin of my nose, I passed last semester. Now after swearing off college, I go again.
The big debate at present is how much do I take. How many hours, the types of courses. Goodly gracious, this ain’t easy. In so many ways I feel behind, where I wanted to be in favor of being better.
I felt competitiveness in my nature, a small cog in the wheel of achievement, who knew that about me? I rather liked my ignorance of self. It gave me an edge, at least that is how I prefer to see it.
Now, with awareness, it, being a writer, isn’t some large blob of tangled stuff. No, dagnabit, now it is doable. The mess isn’t so monstrous; it is easier to break down into pieces that are manageable. Don’t you hate that? When you have this nice large wall of obstacles that are between you and a dream come true? It is like getting a carte blanche pass on P.E. class. Then you discover, well, crap, you have athletic ability after all. It wasn’t ever quite as difficult as you imagined. It was just impossible for the moment, now all things are possible again
A bit overwhelming, until some kind soul steps up and shows you how to unknot the mess, and make small progress. Then suddenly it unlocks a whopping huge chunk of opportunity previously hidden. Huh.
I am just going to sit a bit and enjoy this view. I am going to say thank you to my cheerleaders, and supporters. With you, I got this.