A little poetry this week, hmm? Maybe, or maybe this was just a rant. Anyway, I will add it in the poetry section as soon as this entry is complete.
My currently muddled thought is about what to do about college. (Ignore my snicker in the background.) At the great age of middling, I am in a pickle over college. This was not on my great scheme of things, college. But, here it is.
Now, I am not going to fake either of us out with my imagined ego of importance. I am a reluctant writer at best, a bad writer most often, quite aware. Though, this college gig has been good for my ego and confidence.
I have learned gnarly things like looking stuff up because I can’t remember spelling, correct grammar, word usage, etc is absolutely fine. To write, I don’t have to have this genius know-it-all gene that remembers absolutely every rule. It is even ok to have weaknesses that you have to constantly go back and fix. The stress and berating of myself, this perspective, has relinquished itself to the “I used to do that pile” in a chunk.
Though I am not so fixated on that piece of paper that I have to have it. Sometimes, yes, I think it might be nice, for me. But, really it is about this. Putting words together to be read and making them easy to read and follow; entertaining even. It is about my betterment of writing in general that I seek, and unfortunately the place I have found most success and discovery to date has been within the bounds of higher education.
Not that writers groups haven’t done so as well. But there is a difference. Subtle though it is, yes. I appreciate both places of growth.
What to do, what to do?
Most likely, let it work itself out. Take this process one step at a time, not worrying too much or too far ahead.