Maybe

Maybe

Maybe it came from the holiday craze, the fuss of moving things around to make room for a Christmas tree that we didn’t find in the attic, or the search online the night before Thanksgiving so that we wouldn’t be compelled to shop on the holiday or the Black Friday chaos that many years past brought about hyperventilation in a big box store because I was caught in an aisle with more people and carts than there was room to move.

Maybe it was the big build up of watching all seven seasons months before, leaving too much time for study not just as a fan but as a writer looking to learn how they made it work successfully.

Maybe it was because I am still not sleeping like normal and my physical activity is still below normal because I am constantly reminded by my family when they reiterate my medical care team’s prognosis of continuing to heal and repair over the next year that it just takes time to get back to normal. Their opinion that I am indeed doing great, even if I don’t think I am. That frustration, maybe that got in the way.

Maybe my expectations, see the previous maybe, has extended to waiting for six months for this show to air that made me expect to jump right back to where the last episode left off.

What I didn’t need was to start the “new season” off with an hour long exposition on what the show was and how we got to here. They didn’t do that in the original first episode, why the hell did they do that this time?

We learned as the show progressed who people were and their significance. That was the neat thing about watching reruns, they didn’t really feel like reruns because when we saw them again, the nuances that the evolution of my knowledge and understanding of the characters evolved as they did and re-watching the episodes made subtle interchanges and idiosyncrasies click in ways they hadn’t before. IT was an eternal easter egg hunt where Taylor didn’t have the key and Kirk didn’t miss one single egg thereby leaving a stench that perpetuated the entire environment.

See what I did there?

I was critical. I “Emily Gilmore-d” the hell out of the first episode. I haven’t yet mentioned the two brief naps I took during the second seasonal episode. I fell ASLEEP! Sure, I could chalk it up to being older and that injury pain makes me tired and I need more sleep but, really? I just can’t.

I am pausing to watch all four. I am going to let this all settle in my mind, let the expectations escape and float away on the cold north wind and wait for the delivery of the tree, put up the ornaments and plan on at least one margarita to relax my agitated review of the first and second episode before I venture on to the third and the fourth.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

Wasn’t 2016 crazy? Damn.

I read more, was busy more, handled more stuff, but really did I accomplish anything meaningful to me? Eh, some, but not what I thought it was going to be. So it was in all a pretty good crazy year.

So what is in store for this year?

1. ILLUSTRATIONS for a children’s book is PRIORITY 1.
Writing will again take a back seat in the daily scheme of routine, habit and life, but hopefully not seated as far back as it was in 2016.

2. Good health habits
Have had them, dropped them, picked them up again, and lost track of them again, and again. Sound familiar? Well, that has to stop. I am getting old. I would like to become ancient; I have to be in better health to do that.

3. Writing
A little further down but, hey, that illustrating thing is only for two books, so I need to finish the YA story so to edit after the picture books are done. Which leads to number four—

4. Sales
Years ago in another life, I was a sales representative for a variety of companies and products. Now, I need to do that for myself. Something that I am self conscious about. Promoting others is no problem neither are there stumbling blocks promoting products I believe in. My writing? While I love it, and am working hard to improve it; it isn’t where I want it to be. So this one has a few parts to it.

A. Get over the fear and hold back that is keeping me from writing the good stuff.
B. Get over the fear and hold back of self promotion.
C. ACTUALLY START MARKETING AND SELLING MY WORK.

I suppose you could say this is my New Year’s resolution. To me it is just a big old ugly list of what I didn’t accomplish last year or the year before. I know there are writers out there who feel like this as well. I talk to them every day it seems.

So, what are we going to do about it?

Friday the Thirteenth

Friday the thirteenth, and showing up the first month of the year! This is going to be a great year! Talk about “Lucky Seven.”

Not exactly sure why, but I have a feeling this year is going to be fun and interesting. Writing progress instead of continuing to circle the bowl of bad writing in a vain attempt to avoid writing from my gut.

That is a scary thought. Going with my gut— when it comes to writing. It’s an internal nakedness in a way, writing that is. Why? Because writing requires observation, reflection as much as inspiration, both internally as well as externally.

As I tried to explain to a friend of mine why I let loose with rough drafts far more easier than polished edits— it’s all about hiding behind the misspelled words and awkward grammar, creating distraction with improper punctuation. That and a way to weed out those “that’s good” or “I like it” polite comments that are more comfortable to say than: “I don’t get it,” “I don’t like your style of writing,” or cutting to the quick with a straight forward, “this is awful.”

All of which I, myself have thought or said about my own, as well as, other’s writing. Haven’t we all? I have read some literary greats that I honestly just didn’t understand much less have any positive comment regarding. Writing is a subjective art; for the writer as much as it is for the reader.

Finding the audience for what I write is tough, too. It’s complicated. Settling into a specific genre would help, but that is so difficult to accept other than bad, horrible, awful, difficult, etc. Those I am comfortable with! This conundrum is my own fear inciting horror story. Where we come back to scary things, for some Friday the thirteen falls in that category. To me, it’s just another day to write.

Grace Period

Bonus Material (i.e. unscheduled post)

It occurred to me while reading another author’s Facebook post that the time between Christmas and New Years was our annual grace period. The post in question had asked on Christmas Day since Santa had come to call, could they for one day be not so good Christmas Day.  It made me think about that, and about New Years Day coming up.

So many other things have grace periods, these six days between December 25th and January 1 must be grace days. Either to catch up or breath a sigh of relief. Either way, this is a chance to work some magic on what is to be.

In 2016 I picked up some good old habits and lost some. Why aren’t those good habits a part of my life? How can I make them easier to do? So far, half way to 2017,  things are getting moved around to make the good stuff easier. That is how I am using my grace period.

How do you use your grace period?

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: