Self Respect

So, about that journal entry thing, to make it sink in and leave me with a strong inner impression, reorganization of the words others supplied was necessary. (http://byjuliekolb.com/2017/01/07/focus-2017/) Taking those words and making them into a sentence that would speak volumes to my soul and spirit wasn’t difficult.

“I am an outgoing, caring, smart mess; a friendly, caring, intelligent, indomitable, imaginative, funny, active, creative, strong, gorgeous woman; a loving, intelligent, strong, tenacious, mother.”

After four months this statement has begun to settle in. There is something to this whole positive thinking thing; along with some prayer and meditation that go hand in hand to make self respect and confidence increase.

So with a month of solid yoga stretching under my belt, which was haphazardly begun at the first of the year, my daily flow is starting to evolve into a work habit and exercise habit and eating well habit. It still isn’t what I had envisioned but they exist a more solid consistent form.

Procrastination and resistance were absolutely a problem. As you will see next week, I was pushing and expecting way too much, way too soon. From my research and readings, it is a common problem, nice to know I have company. My original idea was so restricted to fitting within a set expectation of norms, there was no room for my creative imagination to play; no room for my relationships, even the most important spiritual ones.

It wore on my energy, patience, and yes, even my happiness. It wasn’t any one thing that made me stop pushing and expecting so much to happen within the limited hours of the day; it was a lot of them. Taking the time to respect myself, my personality, my way of doing things.

Thus far it has been a little of this and a little of that, making adjustments for what works for me. Or, maybe it is reincorporating things that always worked with me. A little shift of perspective, sure sometime new is better; but then again the tried and true works, too. Putting new and old together works.

I have had this before, and I do again. 😉

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So, back to workout routine. Well, its more like attempting a routine. Problem is that while most of my range of motion has come back, my stamina level is still lacking. Being older, the recovery pace is a gazillion times slower than what my expectations are. This does not help with motivation.

On the bright side, my illustration schedule is on track. Learning to color them is off track a bit, but my production schedule should still have it ready in time for Christmas 2017.

These new fangled phones have given me the low down on my sleep cycle, which since my phone upgrade and accident went from sleeping at 2 hours a pop to nearing a more functional normal of 5-7hrs. Decent rem sleep went missing for several months (my sympathies to those insomniacs among you). The return has been most delightful.

Weather, another topic on my mind. It really hasn’t been much of a winter this year. Which has helped fuel my push to get back in running shape; if the weather was really awful it wouldn’t bother me so much. My happiness at staying in, bundled up would outweigh any desire to get outside until warmer weather. It has been in the 20s overnight and by the next day up into the 60s and 70s. Weird.

Writing habit is back, now if the words would flow a little more freely more headway would occur . . . or maybe not. That is still a toss up, until April when the backstory work and research has to be complete and story writing should be in process.

Then there is the illustrations. Some weeks are easier than others, and some extra times is needed to work the skill more than the necessary drawing. Right now adding in adding color to the drawings. This is very new to me using acrylics, but I am learning.

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